Resident Evil: The Final Chapter Movie Review

Resident Evil Final Chapter poster

Rating: 1/5

When has a movie series ever ACTUALLY ended with an installment that had “Final Chapter” or something like it as the subtitle? Yeah, I think the Elm Street movies, Friday the 13th movies, and others are going to have a couple words with the Resident Evil movies on this subject. Paul W.S. Anderson may not be Uwe Boll, but he certainly doesn’t help in making movies based on video games something that’s worth appealing. There was a time that he did do this with the first Mortal Kombat movie, which I still think is the best video game movie ever made so far (by comparison anyway), but somewhere along the way he just ended up making movies that got worse and worse. And he plans to tackle Monster World next into making those games into movies? No thanks, keep him AWAY from that. It’s also ironic that this movie, probably the worst of the RE movies, comes out the same year as Resident Evil 7: Biohazard, and while I haven’t played that one yet, I’ve heard it’s brought the series back to its survival horror roots and did well as a result. Shame that this movie couldn’t rise up higher than the crap that came before it, only being lower. Read More

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Fantastic Four (2015) Movie Review

Fucktastic Chore poster

Change is coming, at least hopefully The Thing changing into a pair of pants. We’re basically covering up his junk here. The movie may be garbage in almost every way, but we gotta at least have some dignity here.

Rating: 1/5

Fun tidbit: I was almost about to give this movie a 0/5, but while it is the worst movie I’ve seen all year, one of the worst adaptations I’ve seen, one of the worst movies I’ve seen in my life, one of the worst comic book movies (if not THE worst)…there’s probably worse that has been released this year that I haven’t seen. Though I will say 50 Shades of Grey is better by comparison. And I apologize for going full-on rambling, but this movie is REALLY BAD. Read More