Transformers: The Last Knight Movie Review

Transformers Last Knight poster

 

Rating: 0/5

Well, I finally did it. I dreaded it for some time but I’ve done it. I’ve finally seen a movie that I rate a 0/5. Why is that? Because I don’t consider this piece of shit a movie at all. It’s just a “thing that exists”. This is something that is under the pretense of being a movie that it’s insulting to me. I should’ve known right from the beginning, though. Actually, I kinda did, but because I hate myself and I have morbid curiosity, I went and saw it. I paid money to see this “thing”. People all over the world paid money to see this “thing”. I should’ve asked for a refund, but I saw the whole thing through so there’d be no point in doing that. Nostalgia Critic predicted how this “thing” would be and he was right. Read More

The Mummy (2017) Movie Review

The Mummy 2017 poster

Rating: 2/5

Usually I try to avoid bad movies or just movies that I’ve heard about and think “yeah I’m not gonna go see that anytime soon, if at all”. When I went and saw movies like Fan4stic, Point Break 2015, 50 Shades of Grey, Bad Santa 2, and others, it’s mostly out of morbid curiosity, to see if they could be as bad as I think they are. Also they can be a good way to kill time, but then sometimes it ends up being time I could’ve spent doing anything else considering what wastes they were. Out of the bad movies I’ve seen this year, Transformers 5 was like that, but The Mummy, on the other hand, is probably that other kind of bad movie, the hilariously bad kind, and it might just be the most hilariously bad movie I’ve seen this year so far. It’s so hilariously bad that for Tom Cruise, I don’t think even the Church of Scientology can keep this UNDER WRAPS lol. Read More

Infinity Train TV Review

infinity-train-poster

Rating: 5/5

Apparently CN is trying to get new shows off the ground, one of which has really piqued my interest, that being Infinity Train. So far only the pilot has been released, but ever since I watched it on YouTube it’s been stuck in my head and I had to talk about it here. From what I understand the show is about a girl named Tulip (voiced by Ashley Johnson, the voice of Ellie from The Last of Us and Terra from Teen Titans, and currently stars on Blindspot), and her robot friend One-One who splits into two robots, Glad-One (voiced by Jeremy Crutchley who sounds like John Oliver) and Sad-One (voiced by Owen Dennis, the creator of the show, who sounds like Maurice LaMarche), navigating through a mysterious train that is seemingly limitless and each car housing an internal dimension. It’s very interesting in regards to its premise, simple yet dynamic animation, voice acting, characters, humor, and the possibilities it presents through its surrealism. It kinda reminds me of some the recent cartoons both CN and Disney have done, in a way. Read More

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows Movie Review

turtles-poster

Rating: 3/5

Before I review this movie, I’m just gonna go on a little tangent (which often tends to be the case in anything I talk about on this blog) about something. I saw this movie while I was in Washington D.C. after going to Awesome Con, ya know just to kick back, relax, have a little fun and all that. Then when I go into the theater and the movie is playing, there’s kids running around, making noise, and even a baby crying. This doesn’t affect my opinion of the movie itself, but it did kinda affect my experience with it. First, who brings a baby into a movie theater? If you’re gonna watch a movie with a baby, then do it at home, not at a theater where they’re obviously gonna make noise and annoy people by crying, and if you’re seeing a movie but don’t want the baby to be alone at home, then hire a sitter. Or just don’t go at all and be with the kid, I don’t know. Second, if there’s a little kid running around in the theater making noise and causing a scene, annoying people and distracting them from the movie they’re seeing, then clearly someone isn’t doing a good job in getting them under control. I know I wasn’t a perfect kid growing up, but I do try to restrain myself from really bad habits that even I got sick of as I’ve gotten older, and so when I go watch a movie, I go WATCH A MOVIE, not have to put up with loud annoyances while trying to see what the heck is going on with the movie I’m trying to watch. And this is all systemic of the kind of mindset some people have with these types of movies as well. They think that “oh it’s just a kids movie, so it’s alright that we bring in our kids who are obviously going to be loud and obnoxious and make it almost unpleasant for everyone”, which is bullshit. I know that this movie may seem like it’s a kids movie on the surface, but this is a movie where it can be watched and kinda appreciated from people of all ages, so it should be a good experience if they like what this movie has to offer. I’m sorry if I offended anyone with this, parents or otherwise, but it’s just something I had to get off my chest. Anyway, on with the review. Read More

X-Men: Apocalypse Movie Review

x-men-apocalypse-poster

Rating: 3/5

Well, I guess it’s time to stop delaying the inevitable and just review X-Men: Apocalypse NOW.

[Crowd booing]

Hey, if I wasn’t gonna make the terrible pun, someone else will, so I saved you the trouble. You’re welcome.

Also, this is my 5oth post for Philling In on WordPress. Hooray! Lol.

Anyway, all kidding aside, time to review X-Men: Apocalypse. Is it just me, or has the summer of 2016 been more like the “summer of meh” at times? I’m not saying every movie that came out over the summer has been bad, but it’s just some feeling I’ve been getting, and I don’t think X-Men: Apocalypse has helped matters. Read More

Suicide Squad Movie Review

suicide-squad-poster-2

 

Rating: 4/5

This year, DC released two movies that are part of the DC Extended Universe (and I’m kinda over the naming of it, but whatever) that started with Man of Steel. There was Batman/Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes I intentionally left the “versus” part out of the title, which I will get to when I review that movie), which has been really divisive among audiences, and there was Suicide Squad, not as divisive but a somewhat better general consensus. To put it simply, BS was a beautiful explosion of a movie that had a lot of good things in it but conveyed in a bizarre manner that confused, excited, amazed, frustrated, and depressed you all at the same time, while Suicide Squad is more or less a fun action romp that doesn’t take itself too seriously but not so much that it’s completely silly. Read More